After an interesting opening scene with Ares watching Alecto, Megaera and Tisiphone do their lap-dancing act, we find out that Xena has committed some kind of crime for which the furies will punish her with persecution and madness.

A mad Xena. This is the gimmick. But even an insane Xena is still dangerous to friends and foes alike. “I’m a lunatic with lethal combat skills”, she declares in a moment of lucidity. These lucid moments are as poignant as her initial mad fighting stunts are funny. When we realize that Xena’s crime was that she didn’t avenge her father’s murder and that the murderess was Cyrene, her own mother - now that forms the setting for a true Greek drama.

But Xena has shown us before that she is no mere mortal plaything of the capricious gods, subject to their cruel games. Once again she proves herself capable of beating a god, Ares, in single combat and of manipulating and duping the furies to believe that her father was in fact that same hunky god of war. Do we believe it? Doubtful. I prefer not to. I think his attraction to Xena is of a completely different nature. He’ll try anything to get through to Xena, though.

Gabrielle doesn’t have a lot to do in this episode, but she still manages to do some good in the little space she’s got. She travels to a nearby village and finds out the sad fate of Orestes, tricked by the furies to kill his own mother and subsequently incarcerated with the interminably insane. When encouraged by Xena to “-do the bard thing”, Gabrielle is the one who knows her mythology and tells the legend that Ares would appear in the shape of a husband returned suddenly from war in the arms of his lonely wife.

I like this episode. The plot has some really unexpected twists and turns. Here’s Greek mythology once again served with all the humour and subtle changes characteristic of XWP. I love it in the end when Xena points out to the furies that the priest in their temple has been giving them rotten fruit as sacrificial offerings. The poor priest is certain to experience first hand the wrath of his triple furious deities.

The Furies promises a good start to season 3 even though it isn’t in any way spectacular. It’s got a couple of good fight scenes where Xena's insanity makes her use a few unconventional moves. The big fight with Ares on the flags in the temple of the furies is brilliant and breathtaking.

This episode balances gruesome revelations about Xena's family history, “mummy axed daddy”, with Ares’ quaint take on philosophy - survival of the baddest - and combines this with refreshing moments of sheer fun!

This may well be the funniest episode in XWP. I certainly think it’s the best comedy they’ve ever pulled off. And it’s totally non-disruptive as well!

Xena gets caught in a time loop, which makes her experience the same day over and over again. She goes frantic trying to figure out how to make the day stop repeating itself and how to avoid her friends dying in the course of the day.

Behind these hilarious settings is a sweet Romeo and Juliet story with lovers from feuding families, called Menos and Lycost, with a need to be reconciled before the young girl Hermia kills herself by drinking poisonous Nightsbane.

All the way through this episode our heroine manages to stay true to her character, as do her trusty sidekicks Gabrielle and Joxer. Xena is funny when she’s angry or frustrated but still very much the heroic warrior. I sometimes have a feeling that LL loves goofing around a little too much and thus I’m not a huge fan of her as Meg, when she really goes over the top. This is not the case here. Her rage at not being able to crack the mystery is highly enjoyable.

I’m sure that many fans loved the scene where Xena chakrams Joxer in the chest (safe in the knowledge that he will still be there to annoy her the next morning, but shocking the unwitting Gabrielle in the process).  And it must also have been a dream come true for some people to see Xena sing at Joxer’s funeral pyre even before the opening credits. As he is the first to die we still don’t know about the gimmick, so I can only imagine the disappointment of all those who really abhor Joxer when he suddenly turns up again in the morning with his loud “-Rise and shine, everyone - rise and shine!”

Personally, I have a soft spot for nerds and losers, especially when they are well played and fully functional comic characters like Ted Raimi’s Joxer. I couldn’t imagine XWP without him.

A story like this could easily have become repetitive in the end, but this is avoided by the characteristic high tempo of XWP, and by Xena's many inventive trials and errors while finding the solution that will free her from the time loop. Instead it makes a clever structural device around which to build an excellent comedy.

There are so many gems of funny scenes in this script; like when Xena tries to explain everything to Joxer and Gabrielle and they sit mute with astonishment the whole day in the barn. Or when she ties them up without explanation to prevent them from getting killed during the day. Gabrielle has the most endearing way of looking… shall we say “put out”?

There is also the priceless scene when Xena wakes up to find Gabrielle resurrected from the dead and joyfully embraces her in the hay only to be caught in flagranti by Joxer who looks shocked but then happily shouts “-Group hug!” and joins them! This may well be the first time TBTB have consciously alluded to subtext, and it’s done in a suitably ambiguous and funny way.

I was in cramps from laughing after seeing this episode. It’s funny, inventive and I love it. No more need be said.

WHICH EPISODE WAS THAT?
Auto, Gabby and Joxer save Cleopatra from Jett.

STORY ARCS
The Way. Joxer makes an effort to place morals before blood-bonds and fear. As for Gabrielle, she tries to do exactly what Xena would've done. Sadly, she lacks Xena's's skills (including the favour of the scriptwriter). Thus, she finds that emulation isn't always right. You have to find your own idiom.

THE POWER
Gabrielle's persistence deserves mention. She never gives up but tries and tries. Autolycus, earlier portrayed as an inventive if reluctant fighter now exhibits near-Xenic battle prowess.

THE PASSION
We need Xena. Gabrielle needs Xena. If she isn't there, she has to be invented. Enter Gabrielle in all-out wannabe mode.
   As always (?) in Xena-light episodes, the tune is that of comedy. Twins/clones are a sure signs.

THE DANGER
A treasonous chief of security and a feared assassin able to pose as the most inept fighter in all existence are a formidable pair when pitted against mere heroes like Autolycus and Gabrielle. When Xena returns, they're swiftly dispatched, of course.
   Speaking of treachery, intra-party backstabbing is a real danger as poor Joxer is dropped from a great height to satisfy Autolycus' carnal lusts.

VIRTUAL PINCH
Is Xena turning PC? The apprehended villain in the beginning isn't threatened with certain death in 30 seconds, but only with unpleasant cellmates.
   It works, though. Maybe Xena thought that this particular baddie's psychological profile made him more likely to respond to the familiar threat of a good beating, than the more abstract concept of death through mysterious means.
   Then again, she likes variety.

NOT JETT!
The underdog turns overdog as Joxer's evil brother comes into play. And he's in fact very effectively portrayed. While there're inevitable glimpses of the earliest Joxer, who desperately wanted to make a name for himself as a ruthless killer, all that is quickly swept away and Jett comes across as a brutal and efficient murderer.

THE WHITE SHEEP
Poor Joxer, the shame of his bellicose family. But of course, he would be the shame of any family.

THE MIXTURE
Where else but in RenPic productions can a medieval castle on a lush hill be the place for an Egyptian queen's visit to Ancient Greece? Literally too good to be true.

OBVIOUS?
Royalty in the Ancient World are usually portrayed by British actors. So, we're used to see very pale or at most ruddy Romans, Greeks, Egyptians and what have you. It feels kind of sad that it takes the super-creativity of XWP to show Gina Torres' Cleopatra. Egypt lies on what continent?
   (Pretentious disclaimer: yes, I know about the Hellenic origin of the Ptolemaic dynasty, but generalisations and simplifications ought to be able to work both ways.)

NO STONE UNTURNED
Gabrielle's thoroughness in trying to step into Xena's leather boots goes from amusing to touching to hilarious. Of course, the failures grow in proportion to the difficulty of the attempted actions. Using an old wooden bowl for chakraming the iron bars of a cell backlashes the poor Bard into unconsciousness. Trying (repeatedly) to use the Pinch on a patient guard results eventually in a mild scolding

BENEATH NOTICE?
The humiliating thing here for Gabrielle isn't her failures. It's the fact that no one takes her seriously, whatever she does (barring the final battle - people tend to notice repeated bashings in the guts).
   To underline the childishness of Gabrielle’s attempts, the skipping-girl theme from The Prodigal echoes at one time in LoDuca’s score.
   And the Pinch attempts mentioned above are treated more or less as suggestions by the guard. He ponders whether he feels anything, then states that he doesn't. Gabrielle tries again, with the same result; this time followed by pure patronizing.
   Did ROC lose a bet or something?

DISCRETION
“We’ve got to get our stories straight,” Gabrielle tells her cellmate and the words echo loudly from around the dungeon. But the guards seem to be of the placid type, not prone to act unless absolutely necessary (even repeated Pinch attempts doesn’t qualify, but I’ve reiterated that scene quite enough now).

BAG DOGGIES
The canine weapon-detectors get an honorary mention. Man’s best friend and all that. And compared to the guards, they seem intelligent too.

KING OF ASTHMATICS?
As with any XWP episode that turns out to be Xena-light, it takes a certain amount of time to adjust. But I did find this episode funny the first time I saw it and my impression hasn't changed. There're some things I find questionable, though. I've mentioned the blatant incompetence of Gabrielle. A lot of dignity is sacrificed for some (admittedly good) jokes. Then there's Autolycus pre-eminence. In the absence of Xena, it's someone else who've got to be the best in the group. There's a competent Joxer of sorts in the episode, but he's a villain. And Gabrielle is disqualified by her antics. This leaves Autolycus. But he shines not only by default, but by excellence in many fields. If I remember correctly, he was already a master thief when introduced in H:tLJ, and he certainly has been that in previous XWP appearances. Here, he gets to bed Cleopatra and easily outfight anyone but Jett.
   I guess I object to the abyssal difference between Gabrielle and Autolycus. As it stands, she's nearly beaten by Joxer when it comes to competence. And that's a little steep.
   But it's an entertaining episode that strives to make up for the Xena absence by becoming a farce. It succeeds reasonably well.

WHICH EPISODE WAS THAT?
Lots of LLs combine forces to uncover an insidious plot against the Hestian Virgins.

STORY ARCS
None.

THE POWER
There are lots of impersonations going on. But Xena's greatest feat in this episode must be when she satisfies the sexual curiosity of the Hestian Virgins, while simultaneously and covertly fighting and interrogating a thug.

THE PASSION
In some ways, frustration is the order of the day. The pent up frustrations let loose at Meg’s. Meg’s own frustration with the oppressive environment of the temple. The sexual frustrations of the virgins between 16 and 19½. The somewhat unmotivated but very clear frustration of the evil Baleus. The frustration of Leah with the shameful chaos of the world. The frustrations of Xena and Gabrielle with Leah. And so on.

THE DANGER
Despite what he himself seems to think, Baleus is no different from the scores of other scheming and growling lesser warlords and vizier-types Xena has fought. But misdirection is a powerful weapon and Baleus uses it mercilessly.

WARRIORPRINCESSTRAMPPRIESTESSTRAMPPRINCESSWARRIOR
The disclaimer mentions the gene-pool, so there’s no reason for me to do so, other than for stating that if Darwinism rules, then we shouldn’t be surprised if even more Xenic genotypes appear in the future.
   But is this a good joke or not? Well, ever since the appearance of princess Diana put this can of worms on the table, there has never been any good reasons for not allowing more doppelgangers to appear. Whether it’s good or not solely depends on how it’s done. This time, the new Pseudo-Xena is truly excellent, but not always used to best effect.

Gabrielle TO THE RESCUE
Believing “Xena’s” surrender to be some kind of test, Gabrielle begins a systematic and increasingly frantic series of attempts to handle the situation. The fact that the warlord in charge scornfully ignores even more spirited moves by the young bard must surely infuriate her further. And, as in King of Assassins, it seems just a little unfair to her.

THE BALALAIKA BARD
So, our mighty Joxer has gone from wannabe warrior, wannabe assassin, and wannabe sidekick, to mascot in Meg’s house of ill repute. As career moves go, this seems to have its advantages. And he can certainly be used for training purposes by the girls. No, I’m not talking about what you think I do, but rather about honing the ego-inflating skills necessary in this and many other aspects of showbiz. Joxer’s ego is extremely easy to manipulate, and he hides his feelings as skilfully as a flayed shark.

THE HORROR
If you love someone, and has reasons to doubt that the feelings are mutual, would you consider it a good thing if she found you in a brothel?
   A red hot poker through the spine would’ve been easier to endure. Poor Joxer. He brought it on himself, as usual, but still, poor Joxer. Xena’s nickname for him here is well deserved. “Come on, idiot.” (A replay from Warrior...Princess...Tramp.)

FANTASY
The cheerful prostitute cliché is here, rampant. And in a world of teleporting gods and anti-gravity fighting techniques, it fits right in.

SALE ON THE MERCHANDISE?
Leah's Xena outfit is pretty convincing. The slime who planted it to get her out of the way had spent some time with leather and sharp needles. And he evidently got some time over for manufacturing a costume too.

DALIANISM?
I didn’t quite catch the name of the religious movement Baleus belonged to, despite repeated listenings. Dalianism? Daleanism? Deliahnism? More sharp-eared Xenites have undoubtedly figured it out, but until I encounter someone who belongs to that category, I’ll have to stick to my impression that this insidious sect is a figment of the scriptwriter’s. I’m not complaining, I just thought it might’ve been interesting to know a bit more about the motivation of the rabid impostor. How did this extremely aggressive and impatient person manage to infiltrate a xenophobic and sexophobic convent?

WORDS OF POWER
The sacred and secret language of the Hestians seems to be extremely intricate, able to convey vast amounts of specific information in a few syllables. With only a couple of chanted words, Leah manages to tell the collected virgins that they mustn’t swallow the fluid, but only pretend to, and then pretend to fall down and die, and above all act normally so as to not arouse the suspicions of the high priest, who is an impostor.
   Either that, or the Hestian Virgins are trained to obey any figure of authority absolutely.

STOP THAT LINE!
“You told them not to swallow! You’re not Meg!”

CORRIDOR…QUEASINESS…SWAMP?
When I initially reviewed King of Assassins, I mixed up my notes from there with those from this episode. And there are strong similarities between the two episodes. Both have look-alikes in focus. Both underline Gabrielle’s ineptness by the patronizing attitude of her adversaries. Both are comedy episodes. Both contain an insider murder plot.
   But Warrior…Princess…Tramp has a little less slapstick and fighting, and isn’t Xena-light. Less fighting is bad, less slapstick is neutral, more Xena is good. So, no principal difference in quality.
   As far as excuses for allowing LL to play a new part goes, this episode is OK. It’s a standard comedy episode, but nothing to write home about.

WHICH EPISODE WAS THAT?
Marathon and a poisoned bard.

STORY ARCS
Since I don’t define the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle as a story arc - it is more or less the story itself - this episode, though ripe with continuity matters, is not that heavy in story arcs. But there are two notable exceptions, and they are strongly intertwined.
   The Way. Do you choose the life of the one you love, or the lives of many others?
   The Atonement. “I’m done paying for past mistakes” Xena says. Whether this is true, to her, or to the viewers, this arc is clearly present here, in one way or another.

THE POWER
Xena shows remarkable strength in at least three instances here.
   First, she recognizes the Persian spy for what he is, by observing a variety of discrepancies.
   Second, she defeats the Persian elites through staggering displays of combat skills and ferocity, while coping with the unbearable loss about to occur.
   Third, she manages to let go of Gabrielle, and let her die in her own manner, thus enabling Xena to halt the Persian army.

THE PASSION
Sofia said it best: “A chamber play for two girls and one army”.
   Ordinary series would perhaps have been content with the drama provided by one expert and one novice warrior trying to hold back an entire army. The spy would have been an optional extra. But here TPTB add the poisoning of Gabrielle, and the choice to try to get her to the serum in time, or to try to stop the army. This gives the episode a bleeding intensity. There is no way out of the dilemma, and Xena's weeping is echoed at least in our living room.

THE DANGER
I’m starting to repeat myself, but we have Gabrielle dying of poison and Xena trying to hold back an entire army. The danger is very real here. As Gabrielle notes, unlike jumping, fighting an army isn’t something you try 300 times before you succeed. You do or die.

JUMPSTART
But even jumping can be hard, at least when you try to emulate a Xena flip. And it doesn’t help when you fail to notice football-sized stones in front of you. It wasn’t like Gabrielle was running that distance for the first time, even though those 300 staff-aided tries recommended by Xena was deftly skipped (feeble pun intended). But she was evidently focusing on the goal - not on how to get there.
   W-i-r-e-s, Gabby, w-i-r-e-s.

TELESURGERY
Xena isn’t one to continue verbal means of persuasion when more interesting means suggest themselves. So she shouts a fake warning, and when Gabrielle falls flat on her nose, away flies the Chakram, and the boot opens up wide.
   Alexander had the Gordian knot, Xena has Gabby’s foot.

FUNNIEST LINE
“Don’t get any ideas.”
The limping Gabrielle advices Xena when the runner admits that his horse got lame and had to be put out of its misery.

HARKENING BACK TOO…
…the story told in The Black Wolf, it was noted back there in season 1 that the Xerxes of that episode probably not was the Persian king of that name. In this episode comes the proof. Since the battle of Marathon mentioned here took place when Xerxes' father Darius was king, the Xerxes assuming the throne later on could hardly be the same man already killed by Xena. Unless, of course, Ares or some other troublemaker raised him from the dead. He did it to Darphus, after all.

PERSIAN PAIN
The spy. Not only is he a despicable enemy who slows down our heroes and convey strategically important (if erroneous) information to the invading force, he is also immensely annoying at all other times. First, he seems a despicable coward. Then, he babbles about his guilt all the time, stealing attention from the highly dramatic scene when the poison in Gabrielle's arrow wound is revealed. His sudden appearance at the end of the final battle, just to murder a woman already dying of poisoning, is very in character.
   In short, even if he hadn’t been a spy, his demise would have been very welcome.

AR-GO
To emphasise the hopelessness of the situation, Xena sends Argo away. The trusty steed is reluctant to leave, and it’s a nice touch that Xena doesn’t shoo her away, but rather makes her point with a stern: “Do as I say!”.

BOTTLED UP
Another very nice touch is when Xena in desperation tries to evoke her magical powers used to great effect in the climax of The Debt. She puts a bottle on a table, echoing the demonstration made by Lao Ma. And nothing happens (incidentally strengthening my theory about cultural-dependant magic). And, just like she did all those years ago, she kicks it to pieces in anger.

MORE BONDING
Though The Bitter Suite very nicely closed the Rift between our two favourite Greeks, it is very welcome to see their bond strengthen in a less surreal environment, even though the healing of their relationship comes through the dying of one of them.

BARNSTORMER
So, the hero besieged in a barn uses fire to fight her enemies. Usually, it’s the other way around.
   And by the way, we see a difference in Xena's fighting technique compared to the usual thug-bashing. Here, she opens up with a lethal round of the Chakram, and continues immediately with her sword. She fights to kill as many as possible as quickly as possible. No stunned-but-allowed-to-crawl-away-in-peace intentions here - this is war!

USING THE RESERVES
Now and then in the series, Xena draws strength from some inner source (with blonde hair) and continues with renewed vigour after some serious setback in a battle or the like. This is often accompanied by that most effective chorus in the soundtrack, with clear, grim and very, very stirring tones oozing of archaic feminine force.
   Did I mention I like this series?

THE LIAR
“There are thousands more like me!”
   No way.
   X=1
   (and paradoxically: X+G=1, though G>0. Or maybe it’s X+G>2)

AGAINST ONE AGAINST AN ARMY?
No, there really isn’t much negative to say about this episode. Of course, showing the full strength of one of the mightiest armies of the ancient world in a mid-budget series is not really possible, but everyone from writers to directors do their best to mask this in elegant ways.
   Maybe, just maybe, the bouncing beanpole stunt was a little bit too much on the comical side to be really appropriate, given the circumstances.
   But this is a very well written and well-acted episode, with a fine sense of continuity.

WHICH EPISODE WAS THAT?
Young Tara fights Gabrielle and the Urn of Apollo gets airborne.

STORY ARCS
The Fire aspect of Motherhood is here, maybe, when Gabrielle gets absolved from whatever is haunting her. Thus far, she hasn’t really gotten over her monstrous offspring and what she had to do with it. So in a way, The Rift haunts this episode too.
   But this is a pivotal episode in Xena’s arc of Atonement. She now has a chance to be forgiven, literally.
 

THE POWER
Throwing fragile objects has been done since Cradle of Hope. The real power here is Xena's and Gabrielle's patience with Tara.

THE PASSION
This episode is about the distribution of grace. Should you give someone a second chance? A third? A tenth? And whose business is it to forgive someone, anyway? The offended party? The perpetrator? A god? An urn?
   But much of the episode is simply about annoyance. Tara is taxing the patience of Gabrielle, Xena, even Tara's bandit “lover”, and ever so often the audience.

THE DANGER
Xena has it all in her hand, as usual. With unerring timing she saves Gabrielle and Tara from lobotomy. But Tara is such a chaotic quantity that a hint of problematic betrayal pops up a few times.

FIRST THINGS FIRST
Tara attacks Gabrielle, and with vigour and the element of surprise, gives her a thorough thrashing. And when Xena arrives, her mild rebuke is as much aimed at the Bard as to the leather-clad thugess.
   Xena's patience with Tara is remarkable. Gabrielle's patience with Tara and Xena even more so.

BEST LINE
“I knew you were evil. You were obnoxious too?”
   Gabrielle speaks for us all. Evil can be many things onscreen, some dramatic, some boring. Teenage destructiveness might not be evil in the strictest sense, but it is very taxing.

APOLLOGY?
Apollo as the forgiver of sins? Well. His portfolio in mundane mythology seems quite full as it is, with sun, light, healing, music, culture, dragon slaying, prophecy, and what have you. But he was in fact also the deity of physical and spiritual purification. The whole business with the urn and the priest isn’t unreasonable.
   Sometimes you hear strange notions that sin and guilt are Christian innovations. This is of course absurd. Every society in history has had taboos and moral rules, as well as procedures for dealing with transgressors and reintroducing them into society.

KOAN: WHAT SOUND DOES A FLYING URN EMIT?
Answer: the same as a flying baby. Obviously.

SPARE NOT THE ROD
Patient nods and smiles are all very well, but in order to draw the line firmly, you need a 5’ staff with a 5’ wielder. When Gabrielle finally gets to beat up Tara, a deep sense of satisfaction fills your entire body. The air seems fresher, the colours more vibrant. The sounds around you take on a benign and peaceful tone (even the thunderous techno from the neighbour on the second floor).

SHE ISN’T…SHE ISN’T…PHEW!
When a young person is put on the right track by a hero, and bonds with the hero, there is usually a grave and serious danger of sidekicking. I’m too pleased to be able to contain the spoiler that Tara is not following Xena and Gabrielle for the rest of the series.

AT LAST
The Urn is returned and the priest can conduct the rite of absolution for those inclined to participate. Tara nervously kneels. Gabrielle joins her with a melancholy that is interestingly close to smugness.
   But a shadow looms over them. Xena is standing in the doorway. We know, and if we didn’t her face shows, that she carries a monstrous burden of guilt, and that it eats at her soul day and night. But she turns away.
   Is it because she can’t forgive herself and thus won’t accept such a simple solution? Is it maybe that she feels that her guilt is the force that drives her and that it is for the best if she keeps her pain and uses its energy for good deeds?
   A very powerful scene that makes this episode shine just once.

IN SEQUENCE
The Rift is closed. After the climax and turning point of The Bitter Suite, the more realistic but no less intense One Against an Army followed. Now the repercussions of it all are allowed to settle slowly, but not instantly disappear. This is delicately handled in this episode. If only the main plot concerned something else than teenage problems.

APOLOGY ACCEPTED?
Er. Well. Hum. This episode is very well written. Dialogue and motivation is excellent. But as an episode it doesn’t really catch on. To put it bluntly, Tara is a very large part of the episode, and I find her annoying. The other aspects of the episode are too mild and undeveloped to generate the complex action, drama and comedy usually present in XWP.
   But I have repeated my dissatisfaction with the Tara character so much that I realize I must do some soul-searching myself. I’d like to point out that she is well played, and that my issue isn’t with the actor. Though I’m not a teenager, nor the parent of one, I encounter them when teaching in school. And those that are most taxing to handle are the ones most like Tara: totally bereft of parental support and constantly giving in to destructive urges. Maybe she simply represents more work than entertainment to me.
   Another aspect is my general satisfaction that XWP has an adult main character rather than an adolescent. As for Gabrielle, she is portrayed as a girl maturing into adulthood rather than as the archetypical teenager invented in the 60’s.
   Be that as it may. An unsatisfying episode with well-written components.

WHICH EPISODE WAS THAT?
Xena goes to Rome and swaps Crassus for Vercinix, while Gabrielle unhappily assists.

STORY ARCS
The Romans. Hardly surprising, given the title. This arc is alive and kicking and though it isn’t the main motivator of the episode, it sure looms like an obese co-star.
   Blood Innocence is much more important when it comes to generating angst for the main characters. Gabrielle wrestles with it almost from square one, while Xena only at the end allows herself to give it a thought.

THE POWER
Staying calm when the smugness level of your opponent soars through to the clouds is something that we can all relate to, even without extensive combat experience.
   Allowing yourself to be beat up just to stall for time is another impressive trait that Xena shows.

THE PASSION
Focus. Xena said it herself in the episode. The pervasive mood here is getting your priorities straight in a complex situation. So we have here Xena focusing on getting Vercinix free. She knows her feelings for Caesar well enough to realize that she would have a hard time resisting killing him if she let her concentration slip. So, when Pompey presents her with an opportunity to do just that AND escape with Vercinix, the temptation must be overwhelming. Maybe that’s one reason she makes sure that she is locked up for the night and then gets a thorough beating to take her mind off distracting thoughts on murdering her old nemesis.
   So focused is she on this that she has little time for Gabrielle's personal dilemma. While the open aspect of the Rift is closed, there is tension between the two of them here. Gabrielle's attention is focused on whether to adhere to principles or letting the end justify the means. The problem is so acute to her, that every time new information is given to her that could make her choice easier, she quickly accepts it and adapts her plans accordingly.
   In the final scene, Gabrielle realizes that she has a still deeper focus in the core of her being: the desire to be with Xena.
   Crassus is focused on staying alive, but that’s hardly surprising. Caesar continues to focus on moulding everything in accordance to his perceived destiny. When he learns that Xena is in Rome he starts making sure that he can control her, and avoid releasing Vercinix. When the prisoner in the arena is revealed to be Crassus, he is so trapped in his ambition that he is unable to break free of the events he thought he had under control.
   And all roads lead to Rome where all the different foci collide.

THE DANGER
Despite the military threat of Rome, there is no danger here that Xena can’t cope with. But Gabrielle's soul is eroding, ever so slightly.

GAUL
Nice intro with an exciting battle and just enough of drama to spice it up.
But whatever happened to Boadicea in the series, it’s clear that she is in no position to help.

VERICINIGIGETEROTIXIANUSIX
Vercingetorix is just a little to long to roll easily off the tongue. You need a moment to bounce it around in your mind before you can tentatively let it out on an experimental trip off your tongue.
   Shortening it to Vercinix was probably a wise move. Just Vic would’ve been a bit short.
   But is it the same guy? Well, XWP is fantasy, and few if any historical characters retain all their characteristics when they join the cast. But put it like this: Vercinix is the closest you get to Vercingetorix in the series.
   The acting? Fair job, nothing exceptional, but nothing that feels out of place.

I MAJORED IN ESCAPOLOGY AT JAIL UNIVERSITY
The prison is the most peculiar thing in the whole of the episode.
   1: There is only 1 prison in the capitol of the Roman empire.
   2: Either there are only 2 cells in it, or it is common practise to place a feared enemy general next to a drunk incarcerated for disturbing the peace.
   3: The guards’ hearing is so impaired that escape plans can safely be discussed mere inches from them.

BARD DUTY
Speaking of security, Xena really must have her mind on other things when she charges Gabrielle with conveying Crassus to Rome. She is a competent fighter, but so is he (presumably), and he only needs to get lucky once during the voyage.

CRASSUS THE NOT-SO-MAGNUS
The mundane world Crassus was more known for his wealth than for his martial prowess. Here, he is shown as a warlord, pure and simple. As such, he doesn’t fare too well. He begins by being captured by Syrian troops, is liberated by Xena only to be captured by her moments later. He tries to escape twice, and is captured by Xena and by Gabrielle in turn.
   Captivating, but not very competent.
   Maybe Xena wasn’t that reckless in assuming Gabrielle could handle him. But he exhibits some dangerous tendencies to read Gabrielle's thoughts - perhaps because they pertain directly to his fate.
   Speaking of which, one version of his mundane world death is that he had molten gold poured down his throat. A beheading seems merciful enough in comparison.

NET INCOME/IS THIS A WEBBISODE?
This is the episode of the net! Vercinix is captured with one. Xena too, in Caesar’s chamber. And then a gladiator tires to attack Xena with another net in the arena, but this time with only mixed success.
   A persistent analogy, maybe, for the complicated web of individual plans that permeates this episode.

PINCH ME, I’M SLEEPING
Xena puts the Pinch on Crassus to make him cooperative when he is bound again. Apart from the pressure point duel with Sinteres back in season 1, this is the first time we see that trick being used by the modern Xena for anything else than interrogation. Of course, during her dark years, she seems to have used is for protracted killings quite a lot.

PULLING IT OFF
Xena stalls for quite some time in the arena. The first time I witnessed this, I couldn’t help feeling a little annoyed. What’s this, being beaten by a couple of circus goons? But all is explained eventually, and when she spots Gabrielle waving her signal (not a mean feat considering the implied size of the place and the crowd) she wastes no time winning. She simply drags one enemy down, horse and all, and dismounts the other one with a good whack with the captured spear.
   And here she shows remarkable restraint. Attacking Romans usually have very short life expectancy when Xena is their target. Never mind that giving Gabrielle enough time is a crucial part of the plan, when Xena attacks SPQR-squads, throats are slit and bellies perforated. But here she spares her foes. Three reasons spring to mind:
   1: “Poor sods, they’re prisoners like me, not Roman guards.” But they seem seasoned enough and very intent on their business.
   2: Since the spectators (save one) are eager to see some entertainment killings, she wants to thwart them as much as possible.
   3: Xena is thinking about how she enlisted Gabrielle to help kill a man, and decides to keep the mortality rate to a minimum for the rest of the venture.
   Sidetrack: is it healthy to be able to recognize most of the extras?

THE WAVES ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF…
…The Debt. The same music is played both when the one and only boat sails for Rome and when it departs (only then it lacks the vocals). It’s a beautiful and serene melody used to great effect in the Chin episodes. I know that it probably was chosen exactly for those qualities, but I like to think that it echoed the power inherent in making painful choices and abide by them.

“AND WHO ARE YOU?”
Funniest moment of the episode, not hard considering the serious theme and execution (pardon the pun).
   Xena's irritated grimace as she asks Pompous the Magnus this deflating question is a real treat.
   Her first entrance into the Triumvirate’s headquarters is a close second, heralded by the confused and bloody-nosed guard.

VIA SCHMIA
On the way to Rome, a milestone is visible for a moment. It says “XLX”. I’m no expert on this, but isn’t this a rather convoluted way of saying just “L”?
   But graffiti on road signs is maybe not that new after all. And there’s always room for another X in XWP.

WHEN IN DOUBT?
The strange incarceration facilities have been mentioned. But other than that, there aren’t any jarring things about When in Rome.
   This is without doubt a very good episode.

MUNDANE DATE
Well, Crassus died in 53 BC, in Syria. At about the same time (although maybe a year later) Vercingetorix (Vercinix) was indeed captured. His execution took place in 46 BC.
   Given the proximity in time between Crassus' death and Vercingetorix capture, I’d settle for 53-52 BC.

WHICH EPISODE WAS THAT?
A fishing-fanatic, a narcissist, and an ape struggle with themselves to save an astronomical landmark.

STORY ARCS
Joxer’s perpetual puppy love is here, but the puppy has gone bananas.

THE POWER
With phenomenal multi-tasking, Xena manages to return the stolen star to its rightful place, while devoting the bulk of her energies to fishing.
   Joxer not only acquires a simian mentality, but physical skills to match.

THE PASSION
Well, since this is the prime focus of the episode, it seems a little superfluous to mention obsession. But apart from the emotions of our three heroes, the obsessive nature of Aphrodite is a driving force. She is a god, and even if her mannerisms and appearance are human enough, there’s an echo of archetypical relentlessness.

THE DANGER
Threats to sanity are frequently worse than physical perils. While this is nowhere as destructive here as in The Furies, it still changes the priorities of Xena. But, unlike in that episode, there’s never any true danger to the other party members.
   The thugs are, however, less a threat than usual. Gabrielle, her budding fighting skills sharpened by her obsessive mentality, easily takes out the three of them. Only when faced with a trio of crossbows do true danger arise, but then, multiple missile attacks have been known to hurt even Xena.
   Well-played thugs, by the way.

HE’S GOT THE LOOK
Joxer’s instant transformation in the temple is a small masterpiece. Going from his usual alert stupidity to bestial slyness AND keeping his alert stupidity, I imagine it took a few tests in front of a mirror.
   His subsequent behaviour provides much of the driving force of the comic elements. From his eating habits, to his movement and attitudes, nearly everything acts as catalysts to chains of events.
   And his dismay at the traitorous members of the animal kingdom as they refuse to pay tribute to, fight for, or even look at him, is wonderful.

PAPER CUT
Who would’ve thought that parchments could be so dangerous to bards? This is the second time we see the aerodynamic wonders of the Flying Parchment, and, as in A Day in the Life, it unexpectedly (?) plummets straight onto an unsuspecting bard, knocking her flat.

USER
Xena's uncanny ability to turn every situation to her advantage is exemplified here when Gabrielle turns away from Joxer’s invertebrate meal in disgust. Xena eyes him shrewdly instead, and orders him to bring the rest of his food along. As bait.

SOUNDS OF NATURE
The fish screams in terror as Xena hurls them ashore. Despite this, she proves her hard nature by showing outrage when the noble monkey-man sets them free.

KISS OF LIFE
This is quickly turning into a list of the jokes of the episode, and that could get lengthy and tedious. But Gabrielle’s fluid exhalation when Xena bends down for some subtext is too fun to ignore. As is…sorry.

YOUNG XENA
Not only acceptable, but perfect likeness in the young actress at little Lyceus’ side.

HIGHWAY TO HELL
While Gabrielle has some experience with abductions, sharing a high-speed vine with a naked Joxer is a novelty even to her. And somehow you get the feeling that it’s not something she’d like to repeat. Ever.
   Imagine her chagrin when Joxer saves her with a bungy-style appearance.

GOLDEN RETRIEVER
With preternatural single-mindedness and the painful memories of the Joxer Express and length-associated humiliation in fresh memory, Gabrielle attacks a trio of hardened thugs, defeats them in seconds, grabs the Mystic Diamond, and is off.
   Monomania and traumas, the keys to success?

SIDEKICK PSYCHOSIS
While TPTB very rarely allow Gabrielle to succeed, she usually gets high marks for effort. You can only agree that it’s time for a little more cred.

FINNS & FAMINE IN YEMEN?
Er, no. This is a fun episode.
   When Ares meddles, you get tragedy: The Reckoning, Ties That Bind, The Furies, to name only three. When Aphrodite intervenes, you get comedy: For Him the Bell Tolls, The Quill is Mightier, and this one. Not surprising, perhaps, but very consistent.
   This time, I found the plot slightly thinner than in For Him the Bell Tolls, and the comedy not quite as sharp as in The Quill is Mightier. The very few participants here gives it a narrow feel, despite that celestial bodies are involved (in the sky and in the water ;-) ).
   But this is a very amusing series of jokes, innuendoes and slapstick, with a pleasant overall “feel”.

WHICH EPISODE WAS THAT?
Das Boot.

STORY ARCS
Not as such, no.

THE POWER
Knowledge. Deep sea geothermal vents were theorized in the early Seventies and discovered in 1977. How on EARTH did Xena know about them in xxx BC?

THE PASSION
Being good is what matters. Whatever happens, Xena keeps forgiving and encouraging the others whenever they fail. And almost everyone is a better person afterwards. Heart-warming and (since little else happens) slightly sickening.

THE DANGER
The fortune-teller warns of “Danger, great danger, and death!”. But Gabrielle remarks that she’s just described an ordinary day.
   The predicament of the day is not to be trifled with, though. Escaping from a crashed sub on the ocean floor is difficult enough today, and much more so in an age without diving gear, or, for that matter, submarines.

IRL
I end up feeling as silly if I write this as if I ignore it. And even as I write it, I realize that I don’t know what to say.
   It’s been only a couple of months since the biggest tectonic-related disaster for half a millennium, at least. A surprising number of people seem to have learned only then the word tsunami. To them, and to all of us, it will be impossible to wholly disregard this terrible event whenever we read that word. But at the same time, it means what it has always meant: a natural phenomenon, and a third season episode of XWP.
   Sometimes it helps to keep this in mind.

SPRAYING THE DECK WITH SEAMEN
Gabrielle manages an impressive attack-routine as she strikes the half a dozen sailors surrounding her. She does realize, though, that the odds are against her.

HUH?
The look on Xena's face as she discovers Gabrielle screaming and waving from the rail of the departing prison transport is very eloquent.
   “How did she manage to get into that kind of trouble in just a few seconds?”

A STEADY STREAM OF FALSIES
Having joined the crew by means of impressive acrobatics, Xena is understandably distraught when the tsunami strikes and Gabrielle seems to be missing. As one person after another begins to stir and moan under the debris, Xena rushes forwards, hoping for a familiar blonde sight. But she is disappointed not one or two times, but four times (I think). This very nearly stretches the drama into comedy territory.

ISN’T IT GOOD, AEGEAN WOOD?
They built sturdy ships, those ancient Greeks. Not only does it survive a brutal wave hit, the ship’s hull remains a secure underwater shelter even when tipped upside down and submerged to depths harsh enough to force nails out of their holes.

DOMINA IN A SUB
She refrains from killing or even hitting anyone (except to calm the hysteric wimp), but there’s no question who is in charge of the impromptu Cousteau-impersonators.

PROFESSOR XENA, I’D LIKE YOU TO MEET PROFESSOR GABRIELLE (Cu. T. E) AND PROFESSOR MACON (Th. U. G.)
I’ve already expressed my surprise at the extent of Xena's knowledge in oceanography and geology. What’s even more surprising is that everyone else seems to know such things too. Gabrielle knows about the geothermal vents, and Macon expresses doubts about their ability to manage the dangers of decompression when rising from such depths. Macon’s insight is especially odd, since he otherwise displays the manners and perceptions of a murderous idiot.

 A FUMBLE? REALLY?
I believe this is the first time we see Xena throw her Chakram and have it strike something unintended and potentially disastrous.

FRIENDLY FIRE
Xena strikes the hysteric boy, as mentioned. She also throws her Chakram to disarm him. But, apart from a very nonlethal grapple with the grateful Macon in the boiling water, she keeps turning her violence against “good people” rather than against enemies. Justifiable and even appropriate in every single circumstance, but a curious trend nevertheless.

HERO TALK
“What did you expect?”
“From him? Nothing. From me - nothing less.”

KAMIKAZE?
This was a bit too simple to my taste. A group forced to work together to escape a dangerous situation. And that was that. Autolycus’ little deception wasn’t much of a subplot.
   The profound and very modern knowledge used to escape was a minor point (even if I’ve mentioned it thrice now), but a good XWP episode should simply have more complications.
   So, this episode was below average.

MUNDANE DATE
If we assume that this episode follows after the events in When In Rome, we can try to find the documented eruptions of Etna that occurred between 52 BC and 1 BC (in keeping with the official “all BC” policy of TPTB.
   Unfortunately, Etna is a very active lady and we have no less than five alternatives: sometime in 49 BC, March 44 BC, between June and August 36 BC, 31-32 BC, and around 10 BC.
   However, if we look to events that takes place in later episodes after Tsunami, we can establish that no later dates than 45 BC are plausible.
   So 49 BC it is, :-).